Kia UK has announced that they will be hiring pigeon fanciers for their dealerships to prevent bird droppings from bombarding the forecourts.

With summer approaching quickly, birds are expected to migrate to the British Isles, making bird droppings a potential problem. So the pigeon fanciers have been hired by Kia to create “Feather Free Zones” around the dealerships, by diverting the birds to local parks and woodlands.

Communications Director Stephen Kitson says, “We have brought dealers and local experts together to come up with a humane method to solve the problem. Pigeon fanciers understand birds’ migratory patterns, behaviours and local topography, so they’re perfectly placed to advise Kia dealers on keeping their forecourts Feather Free Zones.”

To understand the problem better, Kia has been conducting some research. Results have shown that bird droppings most often target black and red cars, while silver and white cars are the least likely targets. However, no evidence was found to suggest that the birds targeted specific models more than others.

Press Release

Kia recruits local pigeon fanciers to keep forecourts feather – and worse – free

• Kia works with dealers and local experts to head off bird-strikes

• Feather-free zones on forecourts
• Birds target red and black cars

Kia Motors dealers around the UK have launched innovative plans to keep the cars on their forecourts spotless and free from attack by the enemy of all car-owners, bird-droppings!

Despite the best attempts of Kia dealers to maintain the pristine paintwork on their display models, the threat from the skies has frequently frustrated their efforts. Now, the problem with bird droppings blighting paintwork is set to be banished thanks to a unique tie-up with local pigeon fanciers to create ‘Feather Free Zones.’

From today flocks of bird experts will be on guard ahead of the summer influx of migrating birds to the British Isles, when the strike rate for forecourt splattering traditionally hits its peak. By working with expert pigeon fanciers in their local areas, Kia dealers hope to divert large populations of wild birds from the gleaming body work of their sales fleet and into local parks and woodlands.

Stephen Kitson, Communications Director at Kia, said: ‘No-one looks forward to their shiny new motor being splattered by low-flying pigeons, crows, starlings or even worse – seagulls! And our dealers are always striving to keep forecourts looking their best.

‘We have brought dealers and local experts together to come up with a humane method to solve the problem. Pigeon fanciers understand birds’ migratory patterns, behaviours and local topography, so they’re perfectly placed to advise Kia dealers on keeping their forecourts Feather Free Zones.’

Pigeon expert Joe Kerr, who has co-ordinated the initiative, said: ‘When Kia approached me with this idea, I thought they were having a laugh. After all, how can you tell a wild bird where to take its toilet breaks? But I’ve kept pigeons for over forty years; I love birds and any scheme that helps people realise they’re a pleasure, not a mere pest, is worth getting involved with.’

Keen to understand the science behind the problem, Kia asked its dealers to keep a colour log of the cars most frequently hit by passing birds. Black and red models appeared to attract the most bird droppings, while silver and white paintwork was hit less often – suggesting that birds know just how to make the most effective mark!. There was, however, no evidence to suggest some Kia vehicles were more popular than others.

Kia dealerships participating in the Feather Free Zones initiative – from 12 noon today – will display a distinctive window sticker on each of their forecourt vehicles to give browsing customers peace of mind that a pigeon fancier is at work in the local area.

Source: Kia

Note: If you haven’t already understood, this is just an April Fools’ Day joke (Although the press release is real – this was Kia’s joke, not ours). No birds were harmed in the process.